Aye aye! Ahoy hoy!

The unstoppable talking panjandrum is back in town!

Celebrating 50 years afloat on the showbiz seas!

Dead men tell no tales – so might as well get ’em all told now!

Avast!  Two thundering hours guaranteed!

‘An absolutely blistering night out!’ – The Isle of Arran Shoemaker’s Monthly

“Indiscreet revelations told with swashbuckling verve!” – some genius on Twitter

As seen on BBC1, BBC2, BBC4, and virtually every radio station in the known world (even pirate ones)!

Positively final voyage! All aboard!